From: REDACTED
Sent: Sunday, November 1, 2015 8:26 PM
To: REDACTED
Cc:
Subject: My Christmas Wish!

Dearest Bonkette,

I have only one wish for this Christmas. That you allow me to go through with the surgery so I'll finally look like Jar Jar Binks without wearing my mask. To help convince you why this is a good idea, I've made a list of pros and cons:

PROS

• It's permanent.
• Wearing Jar Jar mask all day makes my face sweaty.
• George Lucas might become gay for me.
• Get to look like Jar Jar on drivers license photo.
• Get to look like Jar Jar on passport photo.
• Get to look like Jar Jar in any photo!
• Universal love and admiration by all.
• Everyone is jealous of me.

CONS

• Can't effectively wear Star Trek costumes any longer.
• Disney will probably sue the living shit out of me.
• Everyone is jealous of me.

As you can plainly see, the pros far outweigh the cons. In fact, it is so lopsided it would be stupid not to get extensive plastic surgery done.

Anyway, Dr. Fuentes in Tijuana had an opening in his schedule the third week of December. He said we could start the first round of facial reconstruction to get the bones rearragned, then about three months after that heals he can start in on the skin skulupting rounds which should be finished by next Christmas.

Don't worry about the money. I have my savings, plus the 2nd mortgage I took out on the house... you're not still mad about that are you ;). Than Dr. Fuentes said I can work the brothel scene in TJ to pay off the rest. Apparently there is a huge influx of wierdos who flock down to the border to have intimate incounters with even bigger wierdos. He says a partial to full Jar Jar Binks should really bring in the Pesos!

PLEEEASE PLEEEASE PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE let my wish come true!

VW